Buttered Banter

It’s not an easy step to decide that a marriage is no longer working out. A marriage does not simply involve the two spouses. It involves the rest of the family. People get affected. People’s lives change. It’s a huge momentous irreversible decision – to sever ties with someone whom you’ve been intimately sharing your entire life with thus far. But, sometimes, shit happens. It just does. And one morning you wake up and realise, you no longer feel the same way anymore. And there’s noone who can explain it to you or make you feel better. Noone and Nothing. And you feel a huge boulder in the very pits of your stomach. And your heart feels broken. And you go around the whole day with a lump in your throat. It’s never easy. Noone reacts gleefully to the end of a marriage no matter how bad it was. There is always grief involved. But I found out was that we don’t reach this step/decision overnight. It’s a journey and it happens to those of us who have our eyes shut and should have known better. A marriage is the most fragile thing in the world. It needs to be tended to with the greatest care. Sometimes Love is a Tempest that just sweeps things away. And the swath of destruction left behind cannot be put together again. And the best thing to do, is to come to terms. But when tended to with the greatest of care, a good marriage can grow into a Strong Tree that will root into the Earth and no wind or water can move it. For those of you out there who are feeling lost, confused and wondering what the hell is going on in your marriage, here’s a video I would like to share with you.

J and I are polar opposites in many aspects, and one of the more obvious difference is our attitude towards sleeping. He sleeps only the bare minimum and when he’s stressed, he can’t sleep at all. I on the other hand, sleep as much as I can, and when I’m stressed, I hate being awake.

So last night, he was really struggling to get some much needed rest.

He’s been rushing to meet a paradox of a deadline (There’s no real deadline and yet, so much time has been wasted), solving complex problems all alone and working, working, working at least 18 hours a day.

I am doing much better in my mum’s place. I only sleep on the average of about 5 hours every night for there’s so much to yak about with my mum, aunt and sis. And when I do take naps, its only for an hour. Cos, when I open my eyes briefly, instead of quiet silence, there’s always a cacophany of noise that distracts me to see what’s going on outside.

Anyway, I hope he  feels well rested today. It’s 1230pm and he’s still not awake yet.

After all, with the daunting challenge ahead of him, he needs to be well rested and fit. So J, if you are reading this, please reenergenise  instead of crawling and limping along as you have been the last few days.

And I found this quote:

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.
Gustave Flaubert

It’s amazing, what he’s doing…so simple and yet so amazing.
J has a similar dream. And I hope this video further motivates him to keep moving towards his dream.

So, since I’ve settled on getting the HTC Desire HD, my practical anal self needs to protect it and pamper it.

I found this review of 5 of the best HTC Desire HD cases online…and I would like your feedback!

I  have whittled my choices down to two of the below options:

First up we have the Invishield Full Body Protector Case.

The Invishield is made from the toughest film possible – it was originally meant for the propellers of helicopters! And it is designed to fit every curve, surface, nook and cranny of your phone. Apparently, it’s absolutely scratch proof.  But I am concerned about protecting my phone from impacts as well…not just scratches. And Zagg, the company that sells the Invishield also sells customised protective film and leather cases….but together the Invishield andleather  case would seriously burn a hole in my pocket. Each costs US$29.90.

My next choice would be the delectable Case Mate Barely There Case

It’s a really cool shiny chrome shell case that comes with a protective film for the screen. Its ultra light and thin as well but it’s purported to be able to protect your phone from impacts. Its protective film might not be the Invishield but I don’t think it’s any crap from the pasar malam either. And you know how I love anything shiny miny. This costs about US$19.90.

So what do you think?

I need an organiser.

I did buy the Ipod Touch about 2 years ago when it first launched. Unfortunately, I barely touched it. Which is strange because I was an avid, active user of my first Apple product – the Ipod Nano.

Now that I’m actually writing this post, I realise I should actually use my Ipod Touch temporarily instead of lugging around my big fat black diary. Except that its so easy to scribble things in it and it take me a long time to tap the same information into the Ipod Touch.

But what I’m going to write next is probably going to sound contradictory…

Increasing, especially after marriage to J; I’ve experienced the tremendous power and vast possibilities of IT. An IT based Organiser hooked up to the Net would be weightless, infinite in capacity, accessible from anywhere anytime and it can be shared with my family and friends.

One such program I am familiar with is Google Calendar. It allows a quick note or two and then gently nudges you to think of more details to firm up plans and appointments. It can be effortlessly synced with any smart device.

Which brings me to smart phones. J recently bought the HTC Desire HD. I was completely sceptical initially about its competitive edge against the much lauded Iphone. But did the Desire HD win me over or what. The generous screen is a marvel to use. The Apps are not as mind boggling as the plethora of choices offered at Itunes but they do offer a lot of th e most popular ones. And, it really impresses with its intelligence.

Smart phones wrap up so many tasks in one device – a camera, a phone, and an organiser. It really is a technologically savvy Swiss Army knife! And for ladies, I think it’s great for it lightens our handbag and sashaying!

So, initially, because of my love for pencils, pretty pens and the simple pleasures of scribbling, I was considering getting this:

It has a pretty matte cover and easy to use, simple, weekly view pages on the inside. It’s also really cheap at only 4 pounds; and the total cost with shipping would be 11 pounds. I was really tempted…

But then, I thought to myself. I am going to change my phone soon. And I am definitely getting the HTC Desire HD soon. So, why carry a smart phone and a diary? It can be done, but really one of my new goals in my Thirtieth Year is to be effective, minimalist and productive. So, I figured, I will just use my ITouch temporarily until I get my Desire HD and in the meantime acclimatise myself to Google Calendar again.

So, I am really excited about this – hopefully I will finally eradicate my tendency to procrastinate and forget.

I was thinking about it on my way to school the other day…that generally most women have a weakness for three types of men.

1. The Heathcliffs

Ah, these are uber romantic men who are literally burning with an overwhelming, consuming passion. The Best Heathcliff would be a man who is smouldering and sizzling without burning you – i.e;  he’s mellowed into fine wine. The Worst Heathcliff would be a bitter, vicious and angry man (very much like the character of the novel) who destroys himself and those whom he loves/loves him. Scary.

2. The Mr Rochesters

Ah, Mr Rochester. The quintessential Byronic romantic hero. He can be moody but capable of great tenderness and physical affection. He is also an ‘experienced’ man with the ladies. He would probably have an alluring, secretive past. He has dark areas in his life or has experienced some sort of suffering that has matured him. He is not conventionally good looking but there’s no denying this is a Man we are talking about. The Best Mr Rochester would be a reformed rake. The Worst Mr Rochester would be a reformed rake with baggage. Eeek! Too much drama mama if you know what i mean.

3. The Mr Darcys.

Every girl who’s read Pride and Prejudice has dreamt of Mr Darcy at one point of time or another. A gentleman, well off, aloof, intelligent, witty, kind, and very hard to impress or snare. Capable of admitting when he’s wrong, he speaks his mind clearly with conviction and principles. He is protective and yet respects an independent woman. He likes being challenged and its easier said than done to win any contest of will against him. Oh, but a what a scintillating quest and a prize to win! The Worst Mr Darcy would be too arrogant and aloof – impossible to connect with and The Best Mr Darcy would be the the worthy trophy to show off to your friends.

Guess which one of the above I married?

Now that I’m back home, my mother is blissfully content.

She has my sister and me to nag at. So, variety keeps her busy and mumsy.

“Moisturise your legs Carolynn – your skin is so dry”

“Faster bathe Rachelynn. Don’t bathe late, late. Do you know that Hassan’s wife has bad varicose veins from bathing late late?”

“Eat early Carolynn, don’t eat late late. Ah, then you will put on more weight!”

“Money is not the only thing Rachelynn”

“What time is it now for you to come home now Rachelynn?”

“Be active Carolynn, how old only are you?”

The double ‘nn’s at the end of our names is not a spelling error. My mother tends to drag our names out to emphasise her concern.

But its really nice to be back and doing old activites that used to bond us – like me moisturising her legs and talking about our day went. Or, her cooking my favourite dishes on the weekends. And buying me yummy breakfast. And waking me up and nagging at me to not be late. And she buys me a mini dustbin for me to throw my used tissue and cotton buds in. And a mini purse for me to keep my EZlink card. And a mini pot of cream to…of course moisturise my legs.

My mother believes that even if everything else falls apart, moisturiser will make it all better. And you know what, she’s not that off the mark.

So it turns out that my husband, Jason aka Darth Vader can not only kick ass with his lightsaber (his optical wireless mouse) and the Force (his programming code), but he can also scale walls and walk on death-defying beams as well.

Last night, I got a call at 130 in the am.

On the other line was J who frantically told me that he had locked himself out of our flat. So, I had to climb out of bed, put on my shorts and tee and stumble out of my mum’s place. Got into a cab, reached my place, passed him the keys and got back home. Cost me 14 bucks.

On my way back, I realised that when I had passed him the keys earlier, he had a contemplative, musing look on his face, which could only mean that something was afoot. I mean, this was not in line with his frantic call of a few mins earlier.

So, when I reached home, he called me and excitedly proceeded to update me on his escapade after I had left.

J had, whilst waiting for me to arrive, surveyed our flat from down below. And realised that the structure of the building was such that one could easily scale into our third bedroom. There is a landing area outside the common chute which actually is the roof of the Mega Chute for the whole block and this landing area was directly below our third beroom. A horizontal ledge of about 3 feet across connected the landing area directly to our third bedroom window.

Anyway, since he couldn’t possibly cancel my impending arrival, he decided to wait it out for me to pass him the keys instead.

But then! When he got to our flat, he realised that his heroic attempts of trying to pry the gate open earlier had jammed the gate. So, despite having the keys, he was still unable to get into our flat.

So what was left for him to do?

The Spidy Walk across the landing area, over the ledge and into our third bedroom.

Sigh. Thank goodness I didn’t have to go back there with an ambulance.

And of course, while he was rattling the gate outside earlier, Scooby was all riled up on the inside, and when Jason silently walked out of the third bedroom later, Poor Scooby almost peed on the spot – as usual.

Anyway, counting his previous two flats at Teck Whye and Yew Tee, this is the third flat he has climbed into, at night, like a burglar.

He hung up the phone gleefully telling me that he was waiting to see if anyone had spotted to him and called the police.

I think, it’s his secret wish for the police to call on him and for him to declare, “But I live here!” thereby mocking them.

Came across this novel by chance in my school library. The blurb on the back was interesting enough – a tale about two parents who murder their child. The narrative is split into different perspectives across the chapters. So we are told the tale in bits and pieces and we have to string the whole thing together as we go along…except it ends up losing steam halfway….and meandering across this bizzare pyschic love connection between the parents….that travels across the boundaries of their prison walls….and the mother was of course a victim of sexual abuse and the father of course has some kind of Odepial complex going on.

Oh well, it appeared promising but I did finish it…though I was scanning the pages towards the end to get over the suggestive homosexual references in the prison scenes. Nevertheless, the novel has enough meat on its bones to keep you going to get to the end and then some.